Alice in Wonderland : : unedited: :

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 23:03:55 GMT

its alice. today i found myself in a constant day dream. i was thinking about charlie [ as usual ] and i thought back to first FIRST loves.

Micheal Hubble: I've known him scince the day i was born, just about. he was a chubster. he was fun. he taught me alot. knowledge wise that is. we were best friends, and more. we were kids. ha maybe 4, and ive always had a crush on him. we were on and off till the 4th grade. he was my first kiss :] it was sweet. he moved. then i moved. wonder how he is. wonder if he lost weight :]

Justin something: he was a player, a real jerk. but he was charming, and funny. it was the fifth grade. he was a ginger :] i always liked weird looking guys. like . . crazy redheads, and guys with pretty eyes, yea he had gold eyes i swear. i remeber making the concious decision that i was in love with him and i was going to tell him. and i did. he said i love you back. we were simple. we never kissed. we did hug. sometimes we would be together, then we would have to go seperate ways, when we walked away from each other it wasnt till then i noticed we were holding hands, we looked up at each other and smiled. he wanted to kiss me, just a peck of course, i was to scared. the problem with him was he always liked a girl on the side. that was my first heartbreak, yes for sure. i would walk home crying. he asked out other girls, they said no because they knew i loved him. and when i found out he asked them i would get mad, and he would say "well they said no! " makes me think, what if she said yes? anyways i finally got fed up. and that brings nick into the picture.

Nick Z.: sort of a rebound. God, he was cute. tall, skinny, brown hair, blue eyes. He was sweet. I'd known him since the third grade. he was bad. he ran away from hom in the third grade. the cops looked for him everywhere. somehow, i knew he was fine. he came back with a smirk like i did it. from then on ive liked him. he always liked me. we just never happened. until justin broke my heart. I remember when he asked me out, my heart was out of my chest. i said yes so fast. we never saw each other enough during the day, so instead of taking the bus we walked home. at first i asked my firend to walk with me, she got tired of being third wheel. so it was just us. we would talk about the world. hold hands. watch the clouds ahead, and our surroundings, it was perfect. he made me a flower out of play dough, yes. haha very sec grade. it was sweet. on the back it said ilove you. Valentines day came. i wrote him a poem, it was damn good. wish i still had it. i showered him in candy. he told me he hid my present, he would give it to me later. we walked home, God he was so sweet. he was holding my hand, and i was nervous and curious. he pointed by a tree that shaded the side walk and told me my presant was up there. and he covered my eyes. when we got there, he uncovered my eyes and he pulled me closed and he looked me in the eyes. i was so nervous. but i closed my eyes and we went for it. it was a simple peck. it lasted years i swear. and all my thoughts of practicing on my hand, and on mirrors flashed back. it was nothing like i excpected. now that . . was my REAL first kiss. i was so happy. it was a chilly day. he laughed and said your either really really cold or ur blushing bad. i said i was freezing, but i knew i was terrible when it came to blushing. the rest of the walk home he sang "allouette" he was happy you could tell, i felt sick to my stomach. my first kiss was so overwhelming, that i got sick! i went home and told my mom i ate to much candy and i threw up, well i tried to make myself throw up, because i had this awful feeling in my stomach. i really liekd him. but i felt like i had to break up with him. and thats just what i did. he was crushed. he told his friends he kissed me and he was happy and i brought this down on him. it was and still is my biggest regret.

but that all cant compare how i feel for charlie. ever.

Alice.

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 23:31:50 GMT

hello, its alice again. yes. so rumors have spread at the academy.that jade likes females. of all the females, the least favorite one of the school. hmmm. Jade has so much going on. i think she handles it well. hmm well I just got off the phone with charlie. I miss him. he is under such restrictment. Im on the search for a new screen name. Suggestion? yes yes. it would be much apritiated. Im a happy kid though. Today I had some Charlie, no ms grimes. and. . . not much hw. lifes quite splendid. at the moment. tomarrow ill be sad. i hate the never ending roller coaster of life. sometimes i wish it would get stuck. lol. rush of blood to the head. not good. guess i have to enjoy the ride, until God Shuts off the power.

Alice.

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 01:19:26 GMT

Today I had a day of liesure. I relaxed my sore muscles. Mercedes and I went to a musical on Friday, it was hard craning my neck to see the music, the dancers were beautiful, the music was marvolous. On saturday mercedes and I took a walk in the park it was quite lovely.

yes i had a nice swing.

on today I was home alone, and that is when i am most relaxed. i recieved a call from Aiden, with lovely news, he is no longer under punishment. i spoke to charlie on the fone the night before. we havent had a good talk in a while. I talked to charlie a bit today. he's been at church. I need church. im not losing faith, i just think i need to get my prioritys straight. I havent been in quite sometime.
Im going to sign off here. I hope you have a pleasent evening.

Alice.

Alice is estatic

Fri, 07 Apr 2006 04:46:08 GMT

my love, charlie charlie. I found u broken and didnt know what to do. so i got hot glu, and duct tape. now ur good as new. oh charlie, i thouugt i almost lost u.

Fri, 07 Apr 2006 04:12:43 GMT

Alice lay awake. The night was pure. Charlie was her everything. Charlie was broken. Alice thought to herself " this is what love is: pain" Alice felt overjoyed with sadness.( :] ) Alice felt helpless, charlie needed her. but she couldnt do a thing. So this depression, alice thought. she feel asleep to love songs. She dreamt him there. in her dream she fell asleep with charlie. he kissed her on her head and said im keeping you up, you need sleep.

:[ i miss charlie.

Alice encounters epic.

Fri, 07 Apr 2006 01:08:05 GMT

Alice was worried, she hadnt heard from her prince charming in a while. he is usually on the dot. she stepped away for two minutes. to come back to this. Charlie was broken. Charlies life was ruined. somehow Alice knew something was wrong. he said i need you now. Alice felt the sick feeling rise in her stomach. it was fear. my love, what is wrong? He replied to her, in a low tone. so sad so broken. Ive been caught. alice was frozen. she was still as stone. She watched Charlie with sharp eyes. she watched him crumble. his world at her feet. she watched the distruction. she felt his pain. she couldnt believe it. this doesnt happen to people so close. you see it on the television, and you see it in books, you hear storys. its just those random people, just aquentences. not him. he was charm. he was light. he was perfect in his own way. someone brought him down. ill find them alice thought. ill slaughter them. she bent down to collect the broken pieces of charlie, and prepared for the long recover.

YO!

Thu, 06 Apr 2006 23:20:49 GMT

So my Father and i were having a chat and he was like you should brush up on your creative writing skills, and i was like YES! and then he said you should keep a journal and i thought live journal, so here i am. lots has happened lately. so last month was march, the month of three awesome things: spring break, My birthday, me and adams 10 month ani. so for spring break i decided to take some friends camping. I took Fran and Rod, we went to Hammock Highlands State park. we stayed for like 4 days. fun fun. camp fires, inside jokes, mooning, filming and what not. a few fights, and deep conversations. we pranked Rod so bad. we didnt have flower for antiquing but we had baby powder and we made him a white boy :] we filmed the whole thing. ill post the link later. hehe. so we also went conoeing and i fell out of the boat, because im Spencer, and thats just what i do, fall out of boats. yea we came back and for the rest of the break i sat my ass in front of the computer. we came back from break and Alexa and Have become closer friends. and before i knew it she became all i had. well not exactly. at the time i felt hopeless and depressed. Fran dumped me. lol it sounds funny now, but i felt like shit. she claimed i was a bad friend, and i was teh second on her list to be "dumped" whatev. i was dumped along with alexa and cam. boohoo. im not going to change myself to stay friends with her. she said i was a superficial bitch too. funny. i thought she knew me so well, she doesnt know me at all. I thought we related. guess not. whatev. i got over it. not the first time my best friend has dumped me. but i was depressed for like a week, then i relized that ive got all the friends i need. Thanx Alexa,Amy,Adam, and Rod. you guys stuck with me. ily. yep anyways that also happened to be the week of my birthday, how convienient. I got clothes, and a camping trip for my bday. and some mula. thanx gramps. I celebrated my bday with Alexa and Amy the following weekend. hehe :] that was the best weekend of my life. I really feel 14. haha. I also expirenced hungry howies. I ate howie. The next day i meesed with the camera, made some random movies. and then that leads up to this week. we chose our electives and classes. Im going to be in English1 Honors, Algebra1, Integrated science1 honors, and Ap human Geography. my electives im probably going to take are drama and piano. my back ups are digital photo 1 and 2, and ROTC. yea. excitiiiing. i am to be a high schooler. yes. I miss adam. he is sick. danny is weird. as usual. he stalks me. and he is going to followe me to my highschool NOOOOOO! whatev. im done with this. in my next lj i am giving everyone different names. figure out who you are and who everyone else is. i need to enhance my creative writing.

Thu, 09 Mar 2006 20:31:53 GMT

hey friends. i havent updated in like months. well life is dandy. so lets start with the love of my life. yesterday was our 9 month aniversery. we didnt talk much though. but we still talked, which is good. I love him more and more with each second. gah, my hearts going to explode. we are saving up money. I'll never give up on him. he could fuck soemone in my face. I would be sad but i'd still love him. I am still wowed that he didnt get tired of me. 9 months. along time for being in love with someone you havent seen. for me its not enough. I want more. I havent really been into any other guys because i have all i need. he makes me so happy, more then anyone could. I want to bethere
ok with friends its cool. someone always has a problem with someone but right now everyone is tight.its great. i am close with fran and alexa. they are great friends. and Rod is something else. he is my brother. I have alot to thank him for.
with parents its cool. they arent such aholes. its great.

EEEE WHERE HAVE I BEEN!

Sat, 28 Jan 2006 04:29:57 GMT

o gosh
i need to update.
so i love adam, more then ever, and it just keeps growing and growing. we talk on the phone lots.
I really REALLLLLLLY wish me and amy hung out more. she is so cool. BAH!
Alexa is my wifey. we talk alot now its cool.
I miss fran bunches. can u believe that! we dont hang out as much.
its toooooooo sad.
Stasia is there for me liek always.
and what i liek best about my life now is 0% drama.
life is soooooo good, and i cant take it, i wanna scream! hahahaha. some thing taht can make like perfect rite now is adam knocking on my door this second. but i know thats not gonna happen.
school is good.
friends are good.
boys are good.
parents are good.
EVERYTHING IS SO DANDY!
I am at my highest high. i used to feel liek i had no friends now i feel so UNLONELY! WOOOHOOOO!
ps. I am gonna prove it to adam i LOVE HIM MORE! by seeing who can stay single longer. i would stay single forever. :]

I am gonna be gay! ( the happy gay )
BYEBYE!

mmmmmmmhm

Sun, 15 Jan 2006 18:44:27 GMT

i am at erins house ( she goes to greenwood lakes middle, in longwood ) she isnt home and i am soooooosososo bored. she had softball tryouts. my dad is on the way all the way from new samymerna beach. ughhHHHHH. i wanna go to stasias with fran 2day. i feel really groggy. why did i even sleepover. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I went to this guy birthday party last night ( fantastic dancer) all theee old filipinos were liek DANC YOU GUYS ARE YOUNG DANCE! and like pulling us up on to the dance floor. i didnt dance. lol not untill we left and were in kayalas car. I only know how to dance one way, and i am not gonna do it in front of my parents. I havent seen ethel and erin in forever so i slept over. lol there thats why i sleptover. but i was mostlty on the computer cuz they fell asleep. ew. i feel nasty. I have been talking on the phone with adam, so my days are much more brighter. I HOPE HE KNOWS I LOVE HIM MORE THEN HE LOVES ME hehehe.
i hate pre paid fones. i have to manage my minutes. which isnt easy. i dont think i have much left. 25 fucking cents a min. my mom wants to witch plans. but this is uch a rip off. i probably will get it taken away soon. I got new shampoo the other day and my hair i soooooo oft and silky, and smells reallllllll good. i am so bored.
I am gonna go die.

chaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Wed, 11 Jan 2006 22:13:26 GMT

lately i have been really enjoying life. I havent been letting little things like mom my not letting me go to a freinds get me mad.
I have just been really really chilllllllll. Adam called me the otehr day and that lifted my spirits even more. I relized Valentines day is next month . . . . . . its a scary thought. would anyone like to volunteer to be my valentine?? I am really scared since report cards are coming up. I will die if i have a c. if so would anyone like to tutor me??? lol. I really love love love my cell phone, and ipod, and adam. lol.
well i am off to enjoy life. goodday.

UGH! THE CHALLENGE!

Sat, 07 Jan 2006 05:49:27 GMT

I am hyped about the challenge. NO CUSSING FOR A WEEK! so i get an invisable penny, and chineese food.MAYBE MORE!
FRAN JUST TURNED 14! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
ok. so the chad thing blew over. we agreed its not gonna work. NOTHING ELSE!
GOOD DAY!

No pain no gain

Fri, 30 Dec 2005 19:52:56 GMT

ugHHHHHHH. My dad is trying his best to keep me away from boys PERIOD! ( especially chad ) I wanted to go the mall today. with stasia. no chad involved. west oaks. but my dad says no cuz he thinks I am gonna go on a date. Its quite depressing. I have been getting closer to him. I know alot about him. and he knows alot about me. And he is really what I want in a bf rite now. I have been searching, and searching, and there he is. but then my dad came in the picture to early. I had a plan. I was gonna let my dad get to know him. but now he just hates him. like chads even if he was an ass or jesus, my dad would still hate him, because he is a guy that like me. and he is older. and my dad is playing dad. but I think he is pushing it too far. its not like me and chad had sex. and its not like he is 30. its a 3 year diff. my parents have a 4 year diff. but I am not gonna give up this easily, and chad says he isnt either. So whatever. screw him. Chad has been there for me in this first week then most of my bfs ever have . out of all the guys that would try and get down my pants chad is not one of them. but my dad thinks he is the worst one. but rite now how i look at it is : no pain no gain. I guess maybe all this suffering could lead to something great. hopefully. I just gotta hope its gonna work out. I really need some cheering up. so please. call me or w//e. or send a lovely comment.

o goodness.

Thu, 29 Dec 2005 15:35:04 GMT

The movies was so much fun. we went to subway afterwards. I called my dad to let him know I was gonna eat. So we were all standing in line. and i was hugging chad, being affection cuz i cant help myself. and then my dad walks in. so I was like HEY DAD! and me and chad jumped off each other soooooooooooo fast. my dad walks up to me smiling and was like we are gonna have a talk. so it turns out he is buing me dinner. and himself. so he waits in line with us. Chad looks like he is about to die. With the most look on his face. like my dad was gonna tear off his head. I am pretty much dead. I was shaking to death thinking my life is over. and stasia was trying to ease down the mood. she made my dad laugh. so when we were leaving I flashed chad the " i will call you " sign. and then when me stasia brandi and my dad were all standing outside I said well dad whats the consiquence for hugging?? and he says well I am gonna let it slide this time. but always remember i got something on u. so u better kiss my ass. When we got home i called chad. he said he thought he was gonna die a young death at 16. but he feels bad for not introducing himself. BUT REALLY HOW CAN U DO THAT WHEN MY DAD WALKED IN AND HIS HAND WAS ON MY BACK! HE WAS SCARED TO DEATH! and my dad said of course. the usual. he only wants my chocha. hehehehe. but he didnt say those exact words.
he thinks that about any guy that he doesnt know. but I might invite chad over some time to properly introduce himself. jesus. it was one of the most frightening times of my life.

AH

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 19:52:05 GMT

so yesterday Fran met chad. she approves. me and him talk on the phone for hours. random stuff. lol. we are going to the movies 2day. stasia brandi chad and I. we mite eat chineese, or sunbway after. its gonna be fun. and i have the special gum chad likes. hehehe.
well I like chad alot. he is mature. and a gentleman. and he is cute. and i can talk to him about anything.
well I am gonna get ready.

AH!

Tue, 27 Dec 2005 15:09:06 GMT

so yesterday I met chad. me stasa and chad spent christmas money. Chad is really sweet. UGH STASIA! I like him. have u ever been to the mall and saw this cute couple holding hands and kissing, and ur like aaaaaaawwwww. hahahahah. I kinda felt like I was that couple. even though me and him arent a couple. hehehehehe. eskimo kissing hollister was sweet. kissing period in hollister was sweet. I mean the line was long! what else was there to do! hahahahaa. I talked to him on the fone forever last nite. ugh if he asked me out rite now, i would say YES! hahahahahahaha.

hahaha I AM EVERTHING! this truley stupid though.

Mon, 26 Dec 2005 04:48:46 GMT

WARNING THIS IS STEREOTYPICAL!

Redneck--
[] Do you have a couch in your front yard or porch?
[] Do you drive a four-wheeler?
[] Do you ride four-wheelers?
[] do you like to get dirty?
[] Do you like country music?
[] Do you have a broken car in your back yard?
[] Do you own a cowboy hat?
[] Do you live on more then 2 acres?
[] Do you have more then 4 different animals at your home?
Total X:0

-Goth--
[x] Do you wear black eyeliner?
[] Is most of your clothing dark?
[] Do you think about death often?
[] Do you want to die?
[] Are you a social outcast?
[] Are you pale?
[x] Do you like Hot Topic?
[x] Do you enjoy Tim burton movies?
[]Are you mean?
Total X:3

--Punk--
[] Can you skateboard
[x] Do you wear Vans?
[] Do you do stupid stuff with your friends?
[] Have you gotten in trouble with the Cops?
[] Do you watch the x-games?
[x] Do you have any piercings?
[] Do you like/wear mohawks?
[x] Do you wear Band t-shirts
[] Have you called someone a poser recently?
Total X:3

--Prep--
[x] Do you say the word "like"?
[x] Do you shop at Hollister/Abercrombie&Fitch/Aero?
[] Do you pop the collar?
[] Do the people in Hot topic scare you?
[] Is the only nerd u like Seth Cohen?
[x] Do you watch LAGUNA BEACH?
[] Do you like pop music?
[]Do you want/have a little dog?
Total X: 3

--Hippie--
[x] Is your hair long?
[] Do you own a tye-dye shirt?
[x] Do You want to save the animals?
[x] Do you think war is unneccesary?
[] Do you like classic rock and trippy music?
[] Have you ever participated in a protest?
[x] Have you ever been overcome with a desire to hug a tree?
Total X: 4

--Gangsta--
[x]Do you act ghetto?
[] Do you wear do-rags?
[x] Do you like hip-hop?
[] Was Tupac truly the greatest rapper in the world?
[] Do you believe he's alive?
[x] Do you like afros?
[x] Have you ever said "Fo Shizzle"?
[x] Do you like to dance?
[] Do you own any Baby Phat or G-Unit?
Total X: 5

--Emo-
[x] Do you cry often?
[x]Do you wear hoodies?
[x] Do you like soft music?
[]do people not understand you?
[x] Do you write your own poems?
[x] Ever dyed your hair red, black or dark?
[x] Do you cut your hair?
[] Are you lonely?
[] Is "Ohio for lovers" by Hawthorne Heights, a good song?
[] ever cut yourself?
[x] cry about emotional music
Total X: 7

--Surfer--
[] Do you surf?
[] Do you wear flip flops year-round?
[]Is your hair shaggy?
[] Do you wake up before 6 every morning?
[x] Do you own any pairs of shorts?
[x] Are you tan?
[x] Do you want to be at the beach right now?
[x] Do you hate tourists
Total X:4

--Geek-
[] Do you wear glasses?
[x] Do you get good grades?
[] Do you use an inhaler?
[] Do you stick pens and calculators into your shirt pockets?
[] Does your mom pick out your clothes?
[x] Are you on the computer often?
[] Do you ever get picked on?
[x] Do you look forward to goin to school
[] Are you shy around the opposite sex?
[x] Do you play video games?
Total X: 4

Stole it from alexafur

Sun, 25 Dec 2005 22:36:03 GMT

Year of '05

January

1.Did you have a new year's resolution this past year?
yep. to get better grades.

2.Who kissed you at midnight?
My mom HAHAHAHAHA!

3.Does it snow where you live?
:::: sigh :::::: no

4.Do you like hot chocolate?
it has to be cold outside.

5.Have you ever been to times square to watch the ball drop?
nope.

February

1.Who was your valentine in 2005?
Casey : P

3.Do you get tons of candy on easter?
a farley good amount

Skip to May

May

1.What's your favorite kind of flower?
Daisys. they are simple. lol. and u can do he loves me he loves me not on them.

3.Do you like the spring?
sure.

4.Finish the phrase: April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
daisys to pick so I can play he loves me he loves me not. lol.

5.What would you think of as a spring color?
babies. HAHAHHA! its cuz babies always where pastels.

June

1.What year did/do you graduate from school?
2010

2.Did you go on any vacations last June?
nope.

July

1. What did you do on the 4th of July?
I went to a christian fest. held by z 88. 3.

3.Do you go on any vacations during this month?
sometimes.

August

1.Did you do anything special to end off your summer?
I sat my ass on the computer.

2.What was your favorite summer memory of '05?
meeting adam

3.Do you go swimming a lot in the summer?
yep

4.Do you go to the beach a lot?
actually this is the first summer I didnt go at all.

September

1.Did you attend school/college in '05?
yeaaaaaa

2.Did you travel anywhere?
no I hate Apopka.

3.Do you like fall better than summer?
yes. its the perfect weather. not too hot like summa.

October

1.What was your favorite halloween costume ever?
Ha I didint get to see nicks (miller) costume but I heard alot about it. a banana. HA!

2.What's your favorite candy?
Skittles.

3.What did you dress up like this year?
A VAMPIRESS! ugh that was a great day , eh?? hehehe.

November

1.Thanksgiving!!
BOOOORING!! FATNESS!!!

2.Do you like stuffing?
no not really

3.What are you thankful for?
Friends.

December

1.Do you celebrate christmas?
YEA!

2.Have you ever been kissed under mistletoe?
I think so. but it wasnt a big deal. I think its cuz someone forced it over my head. lol.

3.What do you want this year for christmas?
a cell phone.

4.What's the best present you ever got for Christmas?
I really dont care about getting presents. it would have been my IPOD! but ITS RETAREDED!

5.Do you like cold weather?
DEFINETLY!

6.Who will you kiss this NewYears at midnight?
Stasia and Chad. we are all kissing at the same time. LOL!

I suck.

Sun, 25 Dec 2005 22:08:41 GMT

adam said he bets I couldnt go a week without cussing so I was like OK. hahahaha I said ok shake on it. he said no kiss on it. hahahahaha. well I am a terrible person because i couldnt last a full day. i said the F word because i was fustrated that I have to return my ipod. YES ! RETURN IT! UGHHHHHH! so I typed out my Ipod is Fed up. now i feel like . . . . . . crap. lol.

Merry Christmas!

Sun, 25 Dec 2005 15:17:32 GMT

ok so I got my Ipod and a piggy bank, but I told u that. and I got a booney anf burke purse,a cell phone (virgin mobil ) A shirt that says drugs are for thugs. an american eagle shirt, corderoy jeans, a shirt thats blue with little gree stereos on it. flats with little skulls with wings on the end. the u2 cd ( I am nt a huge fan of u2 but who knows maybe if i listen I will like it. ) 100 bucks for altamonte or west oaks mall. I have decied I am not going to get a haircut. I am gonna let it grow out : ) lol. can u belive this! its raining on christmas! I am gonna go eat though. so later bitches.

bored at this stupid party.

Sun, 25 Dec 2005 00:23:19 GMT

I got to open some presents. I got an Ipod shuffle, and a piggy bnk with a quarter, my dad gave me his change, and I counted and there was about 41 bucks. I am thinking of taking it to a coin start putting it in bills and send ing it to my bro. he needs it more then I do. He is gonna call tomarrow and say thanks to my dad. hopefully it wont turn out to be a fight. I also got 100 bucks for eitehr altamonte mall or west oaks. most likely altamonte. I am gonna get my haircut with it.UGH I CANT WAIT TO SPEND IT! lol. I really really love the matches. and my ipod is taking years to format on my comp. The adults are starting to get drunk. I am gonna go watch.

Sat, 24 Dec 2005 17:16:56 GMT

O gosh. today feels like its gonna be one of those days where my parents get wasted. hahahaha thats how it is one the holidays. omg I LOVE THE MATCHES NOW! I am such a sucker for acoustic. hahaha my music taste differs very very much. I over slept. I went to bed at 12 30 and then woke up at 10. when i usually go to bed at 3 and wake up at 9 30.so I feel icky. well I hope fuckers have a merry fucking christmas eve.

Artist: The Matches
Album: E. Von Dahl Killed The Locals
Title: Eryn Smith

If you ever go down to Huntington,
there is a girl there that is named Eryn.
She's got ADD, but isn't bored with me.
At least not yet, she said.
With a 'zine in between
her bohemian jeans,
half sober.
She's a dog in heat
and proud of that cliché. ok-ok, ok, ok
She's a can of mixed nuts
with a damn nice butt.
It's over.
But more and more,
she tries to make me stay, ok-ok, ok, ok

Eryn Smith, I don't want you to hate me.
You should know you educate me.
You should know you make me want to say,
You're bitchin'
And I just want you to hold me,
though I know we'll leave here lonely,
'cause in the end, it's meant to be that way
anyway.

She hacks her hair shorter on the left side
'cause if you called her cute
she'd be horrified.
She says you're gonna eat popcorn in the dark
And pay ten bucks to watch her life one day

With a 'zine in between
her bohemian jeans,
half sober.
She's a dog in heat
and proud of that cliché. ok-ok, ok, ok
She's a can of mixed nuts
with a damn nice butt.
It's over.
But more and more,
she tries to make me stay, ok-ok, ok, ok

Eryn Smith, I don't want you to hate me.
You should know you educate me.
You should know you make me want to say,
You're bitchin'
And I just want you to hold me,
though I know we'll leave here lonely,
'cause in the end, it's meant to be that way
anyway.
Let's go...

You should know I think so much of you.
You should think I don't think of you much,
But that's not true.
You're the dimple in my cheeks
that I can't spit out.
You're the smile in my eyes
that I can't cry out
The word "subtle" is not a word that goes with
Eryn Smith-

christmas eves eve.

Sat, 24 Dec 2005 04:48:18 GMT

so yesterday I went to stasias.we exchanged gifts.I gave her a hollister T shirt that says san deigo, just me and my beaches. I got a coffee mug. and a wanda that turns into a star.also a mix CD called spencer is gay. it has alot of lE tigre on it. sssssscore. I was awoken by my mom this morning. and i was definetly not ready to wake up. probably cuz i didint fall asleep till 3 last nite. anyways. I had to clean. : P
so at 12 I got on, talked to Adam, b4 he left. we said by for about 5 minutes, 3 times lol. he is leaving till monday. to see family. UGH I AM FAMILY. eww thats wrong.
Fran came over. I always have the best time with her. shes a great friend. I gave her her preasent. a Fear Before The March Of Flames Shirt. she gave me the matches cd "E. Von Dahl killed the locals" its a great cd. Rod also came over. I gave him a polo tee from hollister. he looks good in it. he gave me dimond earings. I am only gonna wear them on nice occasions, like the 8th grade dance. we went to the movies and saw the ringer. it was really funny. I also loved Johnny. It was good seeing Rod. I havent seen him in a hot while.
So tomarrows Xmas eve. I am most likely gonna open prestents then like every year. I Know everything that I got. A cell, An ipod, clothes. a Dooney and Bourke bag. shoes. yea. thats alot of it. and money. and i am getting my haircut. We are gonna have my cousin over, and my aunts friends. I miss adam so much : (

THE MATCHES LYRICS

"Track 11 (Scratched Out)"

wake up and waste a day
chase away
a day at a time
and waste away
clean-faced today
clean taste today
toothpaste makes my
orange juice sour
waste an hour
or so
my shower
is slow
the flowers
that grow
outside of my window
are blooming
I'm assuming
that you're comin' over soon
it's almost half past four
and you called here at noon
'cause there's a picture
that you wanna see
now I'm not even good at
being me
anymore.

She got nicotine-basted
lungs
wasted thumbs
and one of them asphalt
tastin' tongues
she wakes up
to alarm
her make-up
is still on
and she can't remember
why she set the damn thing
her heart is a machine
art is meant to be seen
not felt
not heard
it's just paint
they're just words
and fingers are for feeling
fists are for beating
scabs are for healing
and blood is for bleeding
that's just how
I used to be
but I'm not even good at
being me
anymore.

I wake up and waste an hour
pace and glower
at the TV set wasting power
and aching in my head
I'm banking in the red
and compulsively charging cd's to my account
So come out
Jenny
It's getting late
You Jersey girls like to make boys wait
now it's too late
in the day
for a matinee
and I ain't got the
money to pay
for you anyway
what should I say?
I know it ain't how it
used to be
but I'm not good
at being me
anymore.

nah nah nah

Thu, 22 Dec 2005 05:41:05 GMT

I bought my friends preasents. yea and me and my brother talked about EVERYTHING on aim. we promised we would always be there for each other. he is barley making it. he is gonna have to drop out of collage. he cant feed himself. and my dad cant send him money for food. well I mean regularly not, just on holidays. i feel so bad. i want to do something. but there isnt anything, but try and convince my dad.
gosh. I guess I could pray.

my song of the week.

lunacy fringe the used

"Do, Do you, Do you know?
Do you know how long I've waited?
To look up from below,
Just to find someone like you?
And will your love light burn me baby?
Burn a hole right through my heart
I think I might just trust you, maybe
But I'm not sure
I'm not sure I wanna know"

people can be so immature

Wed, 21 Dec 2005 08:01:33 GMT

Blacklight2Gtr: hello
NiceDayForMURDER: who is this?

Blacklight2Gtr: Nate who else
NiceDayForMURDER: o
NiceDayForMURDER: wats up?
Blacklight2Gtr: wus up
NiceDayForMURDER: no WATS UP!
Blacklight2Gtr: nutin much
NiceDayForMURDER: o
Blacklight2Gtr: now you
NiceDayForMURDER: me neitehr
Blacklight2Gtr: yeh
Blacklight2Gtr: hey do u like oliver
Blacklight2Gtr: yo
NiceDayForMURDER: what do you mean, I just broke up with him?
Blacklight2Gtr: hey i didnt know
NiceDayForMURDER: arent you at his house?
Blacklight2Gtr: ohh yeh sorry
Blacklight2Gtr: slipeed my MIND
NiceDayForMURDER: well I never see him and so its like I am single
NiceDayForMURDER: and I guess i just dont want a bf rite now
Blacklight2Gtr: darn
NiceDayForMURDER: y?
NiceDayForMURDER: . . . .
Blacklight2Gtr: no reason
Blacklight2Gtr: .\.;-)
Blacklight2Gtr: ;-);-):-*;-);-):-X
Blacklight2Gtr: i love u
Blacklight2Gtr: that was ollie
Blacklight2Gtr: that freak
Blacklight2Gtr: whor
Blacklight2Gtr: ollie again
Blacklight2Gtr: ur the asshole
Blacklight2Gtr: fuck u bitch
NiceDayForMURDER: I am just a bitch cuz i broke up with you
NiceDayForMURDER: so get over it
Blacklight2Gtr: hey i never went out wit u (nate)
NiceDayForMURDER: I MEAN FUCKING OLIVER
Blacklight2Gtr: hey watch ur language
NiceDayForMURDER: I think its so stupid whenever someone gets DUMPED they have to be such a baby about it